Wednesday, January 2, 2013

New Year, New Me!

I'm surprised by all of the hate toward New Year's resolutions that I have seen over the past few days.   It's funny to me because it goes something like this - I hate New Year's resolutions, but here are mine...  Honestly, I don't really get it. It's just coming up with a list of goals that you hope to accomplish in the next year.  It's up to you how lofty you want to make them or whether or not you actually follow through.  Maybe it's the life coach in me, but I feel lost if I'm not working toward something.  And although I don't think it's necessarily essential to make a New Year's resolution, I do think there is something cathartic about starting fresh and looking forward to a new year.

For me, 2012 was...educational.  It was a twisty, turvey, and at times, painful journey, but I believe that it ultimately led me right where I needed to be.  I also feel like, for the first time in a very long time, that I'm on a clear path toward becoming my ideal.  I take great comfort in both of these things.  In thinking about my resolutions for the New Year, I am struck by how different this year is starting than prior years.  In the past, I'd set the typical "I want to eat less, exercise more, and organize my house" -type resolutions.  But not this year!  I'm already well on my way with those things.  (Yay me!)

But here's the big area that I plan on focusing on in the coming year (and beyond) - myself.  I have always been a caring person.  In fact, I have been known to give and give to those around me at my own expense.  Up until this last year, I was under the misguided belief that people were inherently good.  I did anything in my power for the people around me and I truly thought that, if the situation arose, those people would do the same for me.  I was wrong.  A chain of unrelated events occurred this year that nearly brought me to my breaking point and I needed to rely on strength from my support system.  There was a very distinct divide between those who were willing to support me and those that were far more concerned about themselves and their own selfishness.

This discovery made me realize that I needed to get the negativity out of my life.  I came to the realization that I was more concerned about the needs of others more than my own.  I was sacrificing myself for the benefit of my circle of trust - no matter how poorly they treated me.  Once this all became clear to me, I decided that it was time to focus my energy on the positive and uplifting people around me.  I need to make myself a priority and treat myself as well as I treat others.  I'm to the point now that I've let go of the hurt and anger - which is HUGE for me because I have a tendency to hold a bit of a grudge (I'll pause to wait for anyone who has heard the story of my 8th grade solo to stop laughing...).  Anyway, I now know that their loss is far greater than anything I'm missing.  Because I have come to accept that I'm a good person and a fantastic friend and everything that went down was in no way a result of a flaw in myself...other than choosing to associate with negative people, I suppose.  :-)

So, the short story is that my resolutions are to continue what I'm doing.  I want to continue to track my food, make getting some sort of daily activity a priority, continuing to streamline and simplify my house, continue to put some effort into my appearance, to focus my energies on the positive people in my life, to continue cutting the toxic people out, and to continue treating myself with the love and respect that I show to others.

As you can see, 2012 was a wild ride for me.  I am so excited to see what 2013 has in store.  Happy New Year to you and yours!

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