The Mutha of all Updates!

So, if anyone actually reads the blog, then you probably notice how quiet it has been. One issue is that I've pretty much been sick since November. I get better from one illness and then catch something else. That, plus the holidays, plus the other stuff going on (which will be explained) has made it difficult for me to get much done...including keeping the blog updated.

I said I've been sick since November, but my story really starts in October. October 22, to be exact. That is the day I found out that I was pregnant. This was pretty much a total shock for me. You see, this was my 5th pregnancy and as you may have noticed, I only have 2 children. I had 2 miscarriages prior to getting pregnant with Jameson and then I took Clomid in order to get pregnant with both Jameson and Delilah. So, first of all, I was surprised that I can GET pregnant again on my own (I'm assuming that it's due to losing 35 of the 50 lbs that I gained after my first miscarriage - this is a blog post in and of itself) but my second concern is that I don't have a good track history of STAYING pregnant when I do get pregnant on my own.

Anyway, October 22nd was a Friday and I had the usual blood tests (they follow me pretty closely early on due to my previous issues), but apparently the nurse left early, so they didn't get back to me until Monday (10/25). According to the nurse, my quant levels put me at about 5.5 weeks pregnant but my progesterone levels were low. We scheduled the ultrasound for Friday (10/29). I was terrified for my ultrasound. I was terrified (and pretty sure) that something would be wrong, but at the same time I was terrified that there would be a tiny beating heart. After 5 pregnancies, I feel like I can tell if it's going to be viable or not. I was also so worried because this was totally not planned (not prevented either, but I guess after 4 years you just get comfortable) and 22.5 months apart is a challenge, I wasn't convinced that I handle kids 18 months apart!

Anyway, as soon as I saw the image in the ultrasound room, I knew what was going on. I saw the gestational sac and no fetal pole - so no heartbeat. It was another blighted ovum (this is what happened with my first miscarriage). The ultrasound tech tried to explain it away (they always do, I don't blame them though). They had me do another blood draw to check my levels, to see if maybe my dates were just off, but I knew. The nurse called and said my numbers were still going up, so she scheduled another ultrasound and then an appointment with my OB for the following Wednesday (11/3).

So, at my follow-up ultrasound, I pretty much saw the same thing. The gestational sac had grown, but still no visible embryo, so this confirmed another blighted ovum. I was 85% relieved, the timing was not good at all for us, but there was still that 15% that was sad about another lost baby and concerned about my body not sustaining another pregnancy. I met with my OB, Dr. Martin. I told him that I preferred to try and miscarry on my own, so he gave me 2 weeks. I waited patiently and there was nothing. There were 2 nights that I had some pretty bad cramping and I thought it was going to happen, but it didn't.

I made another appointment with my OB for 11/18. He wanted me to have another ultrasound to be absolutely certain that I had a blighted ovum. There was a student doing this ultrasound and once the supervisor came in, she started freaking me out. She asked a lot of questions and acted surprised that they weren't still tracking my progress with blood draws. So the 10-15 minute wait to see the doctor seemed like an eternity. But, once he came into the room, he assured me that everything was just as we had expected. We scheduled the D&E for the following morning (11/19).

My first cold also started around this time. So I ended up calling in. I was exhausted, sick, and just ready to be done with this whole experience. To further complicate things, I was throwing a baby shower for my friend, E, the same day as my surgery. I wasn't too worried about it because it was going to be pretty low key, everything was done for it, and it was not at my house! :-)

So, it was the morning of my surgery. We went to the hospital and got checked in. I was a little taken aback when I had to sign a paper to decide what to do with the "remains." But other than that, we were in pretty good spirits. It took forever, 2 nurses, 4 heating pads, 2 warm towels and 7 stick marks to get the IV in, but they got it in. My OB was ready for me before they had me ready! Right before they wheeled me in OR, the anesthesiologist visited with me. Russell had left for the waiting room at this point, so I was alone. the anesthesiologist professed his deepest sympathies and then assured me that they were going to take good care of me. I pretty much lost it at that point and couldn't keep the tears back.

The surgery was quick and uneventful, just what you want. I felt okay afterwards. I was pretty drugged up at the baby shower, but I wasn't too uncomfortable. Overall, my recovery was pretty good. I probably should have called in on Monday (11/22) also, but I made it through the day and then I actually felt almost human again on Tuesday (11/23).

So, then we had the excitement of Thanksgiving. After that began the preparations for Christmas. Then, on December 15th, we had a full morning - I taught Kid-Ability, then I met the family at the library so that Jameson could make a gingerbread house, then grabbed lunch at Panera before taking the kids to Target to get their pictures taken as a Christmas gift for my Dad. After that I went to work, as usual. The around 3:30 my stomach started hurting and by 5pm, it was so bad that I had to leave work early. By 8pm, I decided that I was in so much pain that I needed to go to the ER.

The nurse in the ER said that the location of my pain was classic of gallbladder issues. But all my tests came back normal, so I was hydrated, given pain killers, anti-nausea drugs, a daily antacid and sent on my way. Once we left the ER and got my prescriptions filled, it was about 12:30 or 1 am. Then Jameson woke up throwing up around 3:30 am. Ugh. Russell was tired because he hadn't slept yet and I was still not feeling well, so it was quite the scene at our house. I did, however, teach Jameson to throw up in the toilet. I think we figured out that he got sick about 9 times throughout the morning. By 11am, he was done.

I followed up with my PCP on Monday (12/20), she got me in later that day for a full ultrasound of my gallbladder (they just did the small one in the room at the ER). The results of that were normal, so they scheduled me for a HIDA scan on 12/23. The results of the scan were also normal, so no one knows whats wrong with me. Oh and Russell took D to the doctor on Tuesday 12/21 and she had the beginnings of an ear infection.

Then, on Christmas Eve, we were having some family over for our celebration. I woke up with a little bit of a scratchy throat. I didn't think too much of it because I had a busy day and hadn't slept too much, I thought it was just because I was doing too much. Christmas day, I wasn't feeling too well and by the 26th, I was feeling very sick. I'm still not feeling well and I have an appointment for Monday.

So there you go. :-) Hopefully I'm on the upswing of everything. In the midst of all of this I have not been focusing too much on Weight Watchers. I've pretty much plateaued for a while. I weigh in again tomorrow and will get back on the plan starting then. I'm hoping I'll feel better after eating healthier. Aside from being sick, I'm doing pretty well. I have to say, I probably should have had a D&E with my first miscarriage. I have received so much support from the hospital, nurses, etc. So, hopefully I'll be back to my regular blogging in the new year.

Oh and I finally got my business up and running. So, if you haven't already, please check out my website or on facebook.

**I will be going back through and updating some milestones that I missed - Delilah turned 10 months and took her first steps! And I have some pictures to post. I'll get caught up on these last two months! So, check back for those updates. :-)

Also, a big thank you to all of the family and friends who have supported me through all of this...and always. Love you all!